just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
