You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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