Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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