eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize