You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
