i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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