I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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