i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Your cock deserves a montage
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
