We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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