if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
