At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
