I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
