I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize