she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
