When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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