It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
