ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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