i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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