it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
