She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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