that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
