Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
