Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
