it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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