all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
