And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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