Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
