So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
