So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
