im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
