Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
