I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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