ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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