Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
