return my video game
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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