I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
