I just cut my nipple shaving
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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