What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
