i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
