I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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