I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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