I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
