My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
