oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
