People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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