why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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