How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
