We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I want to be your penis for a week.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
