How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
