I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
