That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
