i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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