does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
