shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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