I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
