My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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