I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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