You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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