I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
