Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's just like the Real World with babies
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
