I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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